brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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