I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
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