i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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