quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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