i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
