oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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