so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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