Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize
