Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
