I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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