The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
There are leaves in my underwear?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
