I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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