dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Every concussion has its silver lining
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I have fence marks all over my body
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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