I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
