just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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