I'm sorry my penis didn't work
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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