Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It was confusing and full of hummus
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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