Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
