I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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