Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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