im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
