that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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