Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
This baby is an asshole
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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