you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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