I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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