Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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