the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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