i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
