Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
