I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Randomize
