Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
