Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
