I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
