he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
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I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
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I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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