question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Can you bring me the toilet please
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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