I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
