how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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