I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
