The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
