Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
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