Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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