you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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