OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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