Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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