I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
