Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
