I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize