I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. Iβm going to keep him around a while
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