yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
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