Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
