I skipped work to stalk him.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
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Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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