I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize