It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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