nut hugger
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
